I experienced this issue myself before I became a dog trainer, simply because I had no idea what I was doing at the time.
I was so concerned about my puppy barking and crying at the back door and upsetting the neighbours that I unintentionally created a much bigger problem.
I took him everywhere with me, thinking I was doing the right thing. But I later discovered the consequences of that approach when I moved into a friend’s place at around 25 years of age.
The dog would bark all night and all day. He would pull laundry off the clothesline and destroy it. He dug holes throughout the garden and generally made life in the house extremely difficult. I remember coming home one day to find that he had completely destroyed the seatbelts in my car.
The list of damage and disruption went on and on.
All of this chaos came down to one thing: I didn’t know how to prevent it.
On the positive side, this dog was the reason I eventually enrolled in a dog training course that changed my life completely—for the better.
Separation Issues in Dogs
Unfortunately, far too many dogs are surrendered to shelters or euthanised due to severe separation-related behaviours.
These can include:
- Excessive barking or howling
- Destructive chewing
- House soiling
- Escape behaviours
- Excessive salivation
- Pacing and restlessness
- Self-mutilation (such as flank sucking)
- Depression and anxiety
In extreme cases, dogs injure themselves attempting to escape confinement—breaking through glass, damaging teeth on fences, or causing serious physical harm.
The reality is that dogs experiencing severe separation distress are not simply “a bit anxious.” They are in a highly stressed and emotionally overwhelmed state when left alone or unable to access their owner.
The Impact on Owners
Many dog owners feel completely held hostage by their dog’s behaviour.
Their lives revolve around preventing destruction or distress, and in many cases, they are forced into difficult decisions such as rehoming the dog or resorting to long-term medication.
While these owners often love their dogs deeply, the constant management can become overwhelming.
In many cases, however, the behaviour is not random—it is created, often unintentionally, through how the dog has been raised and conditioned.
Just as I experienced with my own dog, these problems are usually human-created, even if unintentionally so.
Breed Tendencies and Responsibility
Some breeds or breed types are more prone to developing strong dependence on human companionship. However, regardless of breed, prevention is always more effective than treatment.
Any dog can learn to cope with being alone, provided the process is introduced correctly.
Preventing Separation Issues
The key is structure, consistency, and gradual exposure.
When raising a puppy, it is important to actively teach them how to cope with being alone.
For example, when I bring a new puppy home, I often have them sleep near my bed for the first few nights. The world is new and overwhelming, and it is important not to rush the process.
Everything is introduced incrementally. Less is more.
Expecting a puppy to be left alone in a laundry room on the first night without distress is unrealistic. That approach often sets the dog up to fail.
By allowing the puppy to sleep nearby, I can also begin toilet training more effectively. If I hear them become unsettled, I can calmly take them outside if needed.
While interrupted sleep is expected, it is a small price to pay for long-term behavioural stability.
Building Independence
During the day, I vary the puppy’s exposure to my presence. Sometimes they come with me, and sometimes they remain in a controlled space.
When I return home, I do not immediately engage with the puppy. Instead, I wait until they are calm before interacting.
If I release them from a pen or confined area, I do so without excitement or emotional intensity. Only once the puppy is settled do I offer calm praise or gentle interaction.
Importantly, I do not reinforce demanding or frantic behaviour. If a puppy is seeking attention in an uncontrolled way, I ignore it.
Over time, this teaches the puppy that calm behaviour results in attention, while chaotic behaviour does not.
I also practice short, neutral interactions—brief pats or calm praise—before walking away again. This prevents the puppy from becoming overly dependent on constant attention.
The result is a dog that learns to settle independently, remain calm in the home, and avoid developing excessive separation distress.
Addressing Existing Separation Anxiety
When separation-related issues already exist, prevention is no longer the focus—rehabilitation is.
Severe cases go far beyond what was once labelled simply as “anxiety.” These dogs are often in a state of extreme emotional distress when left alone.
While medication is sometimes prescribed, it rarely resolves the underlying behavioural issue on its own, and in some cases may have undesirable side effects when used long term.
Behaviour Change and Neuroplasticity
A dog’s brain is neuroplastic, just like ours. This means it can change, adapt, and reorganise based on experience and learning.
With time, structure, and appropriate training, it is possible to change how a dog responds to being alone.
My goal in rehabilitation is always to raise the dog’s threshold for separation, so they can remain calm and stable in their home environment.
In training, we often make things harder in a controlled environment so that life becomes easier in the real world.
My focus is always long-term stability, not short-term comfort.
Structured Rehabilitation
When a client presents with a clear separation-related issue, I often recommend a structured board-and-train program.
In this environment, the dog is placed in a highly controlled routine. They are fed, exercised, and trained daily under consistent conditions.
While the dog may initially struggle with isolation, the process is carefully managed and gradually adjusted as progress is made.
Over time, structured exposure, training, and calm reinforcement help the dog build emotional resilience.
As improvement occurs, additional freedoms are introduced, including structured play and interaction with other dogs.
Many dogs with separation issues initially show little interest in other dogs, but this can change as their overall emotional state improves.
Results and Perspective
I have had consistent success with this approach, although some cases take longer than others.
Not every client chooses to proceed with this type of program, but those who do often see significant and lasting improvements.
While the process can appear strict or uncomfortable at first, the alternative is often far worse: years of stress, destruction, medication, or even euthanasia.
When comparing a short-term structured intervention to a lifetime of suffering, the long-term welfare of the dog must come first.
In dog training, sometimes making life temporarily harder is the only way to create a better, more stable future.
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